Time to Relax Jon Harald Gjesdal

• 1 January 04:03
• 2 February 06:19
• 3 March 04:25
• 4 April 06:01
• 5 May 05:22
• 6 June 05:34
• 7 July 05:37
• 8 August 03:58
• 9 September 05:36
• 10 October 04:28
• 11 November 04:11
• 12 December 05:06
• Total Runtime 01:00:40

Info for Time to Relax

Jon Harald Gjesdal
After 20 years break because of a stay in a cult/sect, I am now back making music again and playing the piano. And because of all the pain in those years I feel my music has become even deeper and more sensibel.

In this cult/sect I had to sacrifice the piano playing to God. They told me that my piano playing could become a god/idol in my life and seperate me from God, if I did not give it away. So I did give it away. I started to play the piano when I was 8 years old.

The years after the cult/sect (1992-2000) I was suicidal and was in mental hospitals. Because of all mental problems I was not able to think about making music/playing for years.

After many years of therapy/mental hospitals I finally got motivated and was able to start playing the piano and make music again. In 2012 I started to play the piano on more regular bases and in 2014 I bought my first instrument, a grand piano. In 2013 I released the single «Waiting for Better Days». And spring 2015 I released the EP «Budapest».

Let us start from the beginning...

In 1992, I joined a sisterhood called «the Sisters of Mary». (They also got som brothers there) This was the beginning to my breakdown and serious problems with anxiety and depression. In the beginning, everything looked nice. The people there showed me so much love that I was convinced that they had the «one truth»!

They used the Bible to show that I had to give away everything that could come between me and God, (in fact, everything that made my life worth living!) I had to give away my family; friends were forbidden, forbidden to enjoy food… I also had to totally give away my sexuality. One of the sacrifices was my love for piano music. I was not allowed to play the piano for several years! I had to give away everything that made my life good! But at that time i did not feel it as something wrong to give all tis things away. I felt more and more alone.

And I felt that God hated me. It was a lot of focus on that God is judging us and that it is very, very easy to come to hell. Even if I «do the best I can» to be a «right» Christian.

In 2000, I was mental broken down. I was so depressed, and my life was so filled with anxiety that I did not want to live anymore. I felt so alone. God felt far away and against me. I believed I would come to hell, was terribly afraid demons, had no friends, and I should not be attached to my family.

But I did something important at that time: I went to therapists, and they helped me a lot. Three times I was in a mental hospital, and I got a lot of help during many years. Step by step I felt better and better. Today I still feel some anxiety and some depression, but it is much better now.

I started to take back all the things I did loose in the sect. Family, friends and so on. In 2013, I had four talk shows in my home country Norway, telling about my history in a sect. It was full-booked. Newspapers and TV was very interested and shared my story. More below the picture… Watch this 30 Minutes NRK-Documentary from my life in a sect! Its in Norwegian and was broadcasted on the Norwegian State TV-channel in February 2014: Click here!

Also, I took back the piano music! I started to play and make my own music again. The pain I experienced I put into my music! I wanted to express it, wanted to express hope and longing. November 2013 I made an album on iTunes «Waiting for Better Days» and a music video to it. Everything is self-made, and it is a good feeling to see that I can manage in some areas of life again.

I want to inspire others with mental health problems that there is hope. Tell them that it is therapy for me, to make music. Hopefully my story can encourage others to break free if they are in a sect like the one I where in.

I know the sisters and brothers at the "Sisters of Mary" did their best. I believe they are blind like I was blind for the joy of life and the freedom we got in life.

Today I still believe in God, but I have changed my way of believing into a loving and caring God. That has a good plan for me and the world.

This album contains no booklet.